The Art Of Staring At The Sun Without Blinking
by ch19777
Summary: Looking at Lorelai is pretty much like staring directly into the sun: after a while you begin to blink and end up staring at your shoes. - Rated M for adult themes in chapters 3 and 4.
1. Chapter 1

_**Side Note:**__ This story is already a couple of years old, so you might have read it on another site before. I'm only just in the process of bringing my old stories, that weren't previously published here, over to have them all together in one place. _

_**Warning:** Sexual situations in chapters 3 and 4. Stay away from them if you don't like to read that kind of stuff._

This story takes place right after the teaser and before the asking out scene of episode 5.03 _Written in the Stars_. I guess it can be considered as slightly AU, although it's not totally impossible that it really happened.

The lyrics I used in this fic are from A.S. Head's "Staring at the Sun" (at the beginning) and from Aqualung's "Brighter than Sunshine" (after chapter 4).

* * *

_When I was a child, and didn't know any better,  
I used to stare at the sun for minutes at a time._

_And after a while, the bright golden circle of the sun  
Would melt away into the blue of the sky,  
Like I was looking at a deep blue sky within a sky._

_Someone asked me about her the other day  
And I found myself standing there describing her,  
Her eyes - lost in the thought of her eyes.  
Such a deep, deep blue ... Like staring into the sun._

I don't really hate summer. In fact, I'm pretty much unimpressed by the change of seasons. I throw on a lighter flannel shirt when the temperatures are high, a warmer one with another shirt underneath when it's cold and I'm ready to go for my workday at the diner. But during the last few days the heat has really been getting to me.

More than once I toyed with the idea of losing the flannel and just wearing a t-shirt. Of course I can't do that. Just because I never do that. And also because I'm not in the mood for stupid questions or for being checked out by the single female population of Stars Hollow, headed by Miss Patty, like that one summer at the lake. Maybe if the checking out was done by one certain town resident. But she's not single anymore, she's with me now. Kind of. I hope.

I try to convince myself that I'm only feeling so hot because technically it should be almost fall and not summer anymore. Or I'm just spoiled because I spent seven weeks under shady and sun-resistant trees at the Renaissance Fair in Maine. But, if I allow myself to really think about it, the reason might be something else: for the sixteenth time in the last half an hour, I recall how Lorelai's lips felt on mine when we shared our first kiss and only a moment later our second.

I did that so often while I was away from home -and her- that I don't even need to close my eyes anymore to envision the way she looked at me. Shock and insecurity were present in her blue eyes, when I finally reached for her after so many years of friendship, replaced by realization and delight when our lips parted. Sometimes I can still feel the touch of her hand on my cheek, and I have memorized the softness of her hair between my fingers and her intoxicating scent.

Those memories helped me survive the time in Maine. That, and talking with Lorelai. I hate to admit it, but the cell phone I got before I went away was probably one of the most useful things I ever bought. We soon developed a pattern, an unspoken agreement that one day I would call her and the next day she would call me. Our conversations were not that much different from our pre-kiss ones. We exchanged stories about the Renaissance Fair people and the latest Stars Hollow craziness. I reassured her that the coffee at the diner didn't taste differently just because I wasn't there, and she tried to convince me that killing T.J. wouldn't help turn my stay in Maine into a more pleasant one.

There was some flirting and some teasing, but we carefully avoided to talk about the kisses or what they meant for us. All I know is, that she waited for me to come home and that I was counting the days till I would see her again and could finally _really_ start something between us. The problem is, now I've been back for a week and I still have no idea where to begin.

Our reunion on the Saturday I finally came home went totally differently than I had secretly hoped. We were both kind of embarrassed when we met again, and just when I had broken the ice by giving her the necklace Liz made and leaned in to kiss her, we were interrupted by the insanity of the town, dancing apples and a ridiculous clown. We haven't seen each other alone since then and so I'm still waiting for that third kiss to happen. Yes, it is probably Lorelai withdrawal that causes my daydreams and makes me feel heated despite the air conditioning in the diner.

That night, after the almost-kiss, I called Lorelai, still sticking to our phone routine. We talked for almost two hours. Well, she did most of the talking. I can't even exactly remember the topics of our conversation, but I know I felt very comfortable and safe lying there in the darkness and listening to her voice.

The next several days she was busy at the Inn or she was spending time with Rory. They came to the diner a couple of times for coffee or lunch, but I didn't want to interrupt the dwindling mother-daughter time remaining before Rory goes back to Yale. Besides I sensed that they had some things to sort out, so with a heavy heart I restrained myself from asking Lorelai for a date. But we still stayed in contact via the phone.

When I called her yesterday evening she was in her usual after Friday night dinner mood and asked me to cheer her up with something funny. So I told her the story how Liz and I once had taken home an alley cat and had hidden it inventively from our parents for several weeks. I have no explanation why this childhood anecdote crept into my mind at that moment and Lorelai will probably still find something mockable in it weeks later, but it worked and soon we shared our usual banter.

She asked me jokingly -I assume- in a flirty voice what I was wearing and informed me she was naked. When I finally got over the mental image of Lorelai naked in her bed enough that I was able to speak again, I was hit by a wave of honesty. Before I could stop myself I told her that I miss her terribly, now even more than when I was miles away from her. After that statement it stayed silent on the other end of the line for what seemed like an eternity. I was cursing myself for rushing things, saying too much too soon. But just as I wanted to apologize, I heard her voice again, calm and low. "I miss you too."

As I lose myself in this memory I can't stop smiling - there have been already many moments like that today. I feel stupid for grinning like a lovesick idiot while serving food and billing people, but not enough to be able to stop it. Unsuccessfully I try to cover it by being extra grumpy, but I guess not even Kirk believes me when I'm yelling at him smiling.

I go to the storeroom to get a new jar of pickles and pause for a moment to recall the phone conversation I held in here with Lorelai so many weeks earlier, and the relieved and giddy feeling I had after she exceeded all my expectations by indicating she wanted to be with me. And now, several weeks later, we are still not one step further. I sigh in frustration.

Why is this so hard? I know how to serve her coffee, how to fix her porch rail, how to be supportive whenever she needs me. I know when to just let her talk and when I have a chance to get a word in. Judging by her remark about frogs and impressive consequences I also know how to kiss her. But I'm not sure how to use all my knowledge to built up a relationship with her.

I return to the counter, still lost in thought. Suddenly I'm startled because I hear Lane say Lorelai's name.

"What?"

"I said, Lorelai just called." She grins knowingly. "She's spending her lunch break at the lake because the weather is so nice and she would like you to meet her there. And I'm instructed to tell you she won't reject the food you will hopefully bring."


	2. Chapter 2

Her jeep is parked on the road — my heart immediately begins to beat in a fast and uncontrollable rhythm. I will really see her in a few seconds. I'm familiar with this reaction — it's the Lorelai syndrome, a physical expression of my troubled emotions. I get that every time she's around me or will be soon. Sometimes the feeling is stronger, sometimes it is only a slight prickle in my stomach. At the moment it is not as severe as right before our first kiss, but I think that's only a matter of time. My eyes scan the small piece of lawn for her slender shape, but I can't find her amongst the sunbathers. I squint and search the lake, but only four people are in the water and none of them is her.

For a moment I'm at a loss. Where is she? She wanted me to meet her _here_, right? Suddenly it dawns on me — how could I ever forget that? I walk away from the sunbathing teenagers and clamorous kids and dive into the green oasis of silence. That path through the little wood right next to the lake was one of the secrets of my childhood. I'm pretty sure other residents know about it too, but as a child I liked to pretend that I was the only one. I didn't even tell Liz about it, since the little cove at the other side of the path was perfect to use as a hiding place when I wanted to be alone for a while. But in that summer after meeting Lorelai for the first time, I shared the secret with her and Rory.

I haven't been here for a couple of years, but everything still looks exactly like I remember it - savage and pristine. The thought that none of the rude, heavy metal loving kids, who sometimes come into the diner after school, has discovered this place for partying and turning it into a garbage dump makes me irrationally happy. As I follow the path toward the bay, brushing aside branches now and then, I think about the first time I walked along this way with Lorelai and Rory.

I can almost feel Rory's smaller hand fumbling for mine, scared because she just read a book which most likely wasn't suitable for her young age. When I really focus on my memories I am also able to recall the sound of Lorelai's steps behind me, her breath stroking my neck as she sneaked up and whispered "Boo!" into my ear. For a split second I had felt like a father and husband, leading my family through unfamiliar territory. Of course, stupid as I was, I shook off this thought forcefully. But it was that day when I at least realized that I not only agreed to go to the lake with them because they bugged me for days, but I actually liked to spend time with them, too.

The first thing I see after I arrive at the edge of the wood is the sun, shining brightly. I shield my eyes with my left hand and suddenly I see her — bathed in the golden sunlight and competing with it's brightness. For a moment I'm not sure if I'm blinded by the light or by her beauty. Maybe it's a combination of both. Looking at Lorelai is pretty much like staring directly into the sun: after a while you begin to blink and end up staring at your shoes. And even if you almost can't bear it, physically concerning the sun and emotionally concerning Lorelai, you are magnetically attracted to look up and try again. Because the view is absolutely beautiful and addicting and breathtaking, and you can see things that are not really there but maybe will be one day.

Right now I'm challenged with the most difficult view possible, Lorelai is wearing only a bikini. A very scanty one. I don't know how it could have slipped my mind that she would be wearing a bathing suit while she is at the lake. Now I have to deal with this situation unprepared and unprotected. I have seen her in a bikini before, but after those two mind-blowing kisses at the Dragonfly porch things are different.

Today I don't have to steal a peep at her when she's not paying attention and later fantasize about her alone in my apartment, knowing that those fantasies would never become reality. Now there's a very real possibility that I will sooner or later not only see all those body parts that the bikini shrouds, but -hopefully- also touch and caress them. What an arousing and scary thought at the same time. I'm not yet ready to attract attention to myself, so I stay in the shadows of the trees a little longer, watch her dry her hair and try to contrive a "plan of action" concerning the best way to approach her.

Over the years I have developed a routine how to deal with various Lorelai looks. A plunging neckline or a short skirt are easy, I just have to focus on her face. Of course it gets more difficult if she smiles, it's hard not get lost in her shiny eyes then. A good tactic is to avoid direct eye contact and to focus instead on a point at her shoulder. I guess I'm very familiar with the fabric of most of her shirts by doing that. If everything else fails I pretend to be very busy with writing something down on my order pad or with operating the coffee maker and only look up occasionally.

But for my current situation there isn't a nostrum to prevent me from acting like a fool. I decide to stop over-analyzing everything and just go to her.

"You came!" she exclaims excitedly when she notices my presence.

With her towel in her hand she walks towards me. We meet halfway, stopping a few steps away from each other. She is smiling, I am melting. The way she looks at me makes me feel emotionally naked, like she would be able to look right into me and measure all my fears, hopes and insecurities that are buried deep inside. Apparently she is not disgusted by what she discovers and takes a step closer.

"Hey." She is standing now directly in front of me. I force myself to tear my eyes off of the ground and look at her beautiful, radiant face, framed by her damp hair that curls along her neck down to her shoulders. The overwhelming urge to kiss her is vibrating inside of me, but I chicken out.

"Hey. I brought food." Nice one, Danes. But her smile grows even wider and she takes my hand in hers. A single touch from her makes my spine tingle with sheer anticipation, my whole body is alight with her.

"Ooh, that's great! Thanks." She beams, smiles. A cheerful gleam dances in her eyes as she brings her face even closer to mine. I swallow. Suddenly, only noticeable for someone who is conversant with reading her expressions, a small pout begins to form on her lips. "But you know, you still owe me a kiss, mister!"

There it is - the cue to end my lethargy. I disengage my hand from hers and put it on her naked hip. Her skin is watery and feels cool and smooth under my warm, chapped palm.

"That's funny, you owe me one too." I tell her and gently pull her against me.

She responds by wrapping her arms around my neck, a murmur of contentment escaping her lips. My other hand is still holding the paper bag with the food, but touching her is more important now and I quickly place it on the ground. Her touch on me sends goose pimples down my arms, as she places one hand on my left cheek and I let myself go. I press my cheek against her palm, run my fingers through her hair, playing with the soft, wet curls. Cautiously I cup her face in one hand, while the thumb of my other one draws circles on the smooth flesh of her hip.

Her eyes are already closed and her mouth is slightly open when I lean in toward her. I don't shut my eyes until I see only some blurry patterns and points of light instead of her face, I just don't want to risk to miss anything. My lips softly touch her cheek, slowly make their way to her waiting mouth. I feel the tender touch of her kiss, smell the scent of her perfume admixed with the indefinable odor of water.

She kisses me back with a smile curving her lips, but not reducing their softness. Her lips are parting, opening mine with them, and almost instinctively our tongues brush against one another, exploring and adoring. Kissing Lorelai feels like the most natural thing in the world. It feels right. And I can't do anything but revel in her sweet taste and enjoy the feeling of finally holding her against me again. I open wider to let her in more, her tongue dips in again and touches my own, then comes out and touches my teeth.

After a while she breaks the kiss, opens her eyes slowly and gazes into mine. She buries her face in the flannel that covers my shoulder and we just stand there, silently embracing each other. The water on her body soaks through my shirt.

"You're all wet." I state, just to break the silence. The moment the words are out, I realize what I've said. I'm glad that her face is still hidden at my shoulder, so she doesn't see me blushing. But of course she notices the double meaning too.

"Dirty." She breathes against the sensible skin of my neck. By the way she says it I can tell she is grinning, and I just hold her tighter and place a kiss on top of her head.

Suddenly my mind whispers a suggestion. Nervously I decide to follow the impulse and set my lips gently against her neck. She momentarily freezes, but soon she relaxes in my arms as I kiss again and again the soft skin of her throat. I can feel the thick, steady beat of her pulse through my lips and get so caught in the moment, that I don't notice that the weather has changed since my arrival at the lake.

I'm snapped back to reality when I feel Lorelai trembling against my body. The sun is hiding behind some dark, rain announcing clouds, a fresh breeze has sprung up and blows strands of her dark hair across my face. Apparently the cooler weather the forecast promised is really finally coming.

"We should go to the diner for lunch, it looks like rain," I suggest. She seems like she has just been awakened from a dream as she reluctantly loosens her grip around me.

"I'd rather be alone with you for a while, let's go to my place." My heart somersaults. "What do you say? My charming company plus I can offer you a glass of the _best_ tap water in Stars Hollow, if not even all of Connecticut." I hear myself chuckle. As if it would take more to convince me than the prospect of spending time with her.

"Is Rory home?" I ask as nonchalantly as possible to find out if we will be really alone.

"She's spending the day with her grandfather. He is determined to outdo the whole summer with my mother in Europe with one day in Hartford. So he'll probably buy her a lot of expensive, boring stuff and she'll be back very late." Perfect. Rory is getting a lot of new books and Lorelai and I have the house for ourselves.

Lorelai excuses herself to get dressed and suddenly I'm a thirteen year old schoolboy again, trying to look under the girls' skirts by using a mirror attached to the toe of my shoe. Honestly, I try not to look in the direction of the trees where she is putting on her clothes, but I can't help throwing a glance once in a while. Not that there would be a chance to see anything other than maybe a raised arm or a piece of clothing.

After a while Lorelai emerges from her provisional changing cubicle, fully dressed now in a tight black shirt and a knee-length white skirt. I guess her outfit is supposed to scream "successful business owner", but to me the way it hugs every curve is just plain and simple sexy as hell. But there's one thing that impresses me even more than this, provides an aura of mystery around her face: she is wearing her glasses. She doesn't do that very often, but every time she does, I'm surprised anew how enticing this makes her appear.

I can't remember ever being attracted to another woman because she was wearing glasses. Okay, there was Miss Palmer, one of my teachers in high school, but that doesn't really count. I was in the middle of puberty and therefore it were most likely other amenities of Miss Palmer's body that grabbed my attention back then. But there is something fascinating about it if Lorelai wears them, something that lets her appear vulnerable and superior at the same time. Seeing her blue eyes, sparkling with intelligence and vitality, framed and accentuated by her glasses is definitely a turn on for me.

She catches me staring at her and a questioning expression forms on her face. My thoughts are racing again, contemplating what to say next. How to say it. After clearing my throat twice I think I finally figured it out.

"You look really beautiful today." The confused look is replaced by a smile. "I mean, you always do. But today especially." I hurry to add.

Her smile grows even wider. "Thanks." She answers shyly and averts her gaze. It's nice to discover that I'm not the only one who is nervous. She gets over her shyness very fast though and adds in a cheekier tone "You look pretty tasty yourself."

"Tasty?" I inquire with raised eyebrows.

"Yes, tasty." She confirms laughing and slaps my chest with the towel in her hand. "Stop grinning so smugly or I'll take it back."

"Do you really need those glasses or do you only wear them for... fashion reasons?" Did I really just ask her that?

"For fashion reasons? Do the Queer Eye guys know about you?" Geez. She's giggling, but stops when I roll my eyes. "Sorry, I just didn't expect that from you now. No, it's not for 'fashion reasons', I really need them sometimes. But they also look cute on me, don't they?"

"They sure do." Although for me "cute" wouldn't be the first word that comes to mind at the sight of Lorelai in glasses.

We go back through the little wood in comfortable silence, both lost in our own thoughts. After about half the way I pluck up the courage to take hold of Lorelai's hand and we walk with our fingers intertwined till we arrive at the jeep.

The silence is broken as soon as Lorelai turns the ignition key. Somehow she manages to drive the car, to tell me some funny stories about incidents at the Dragonfly Inn and to sing along to the radio — all at the same time. I'm so amazed by this ability, by her liveliness, that I don't say much, only listen to her and focus on her profile. On the way she moves her lips, the way she adjusts her glasses now and then. I begin to wonder whether it is just me or if the temperature is rising again.

Suddenly I hear her say my name, apparently that's not her first try to get my attention.

"Earth to Luke! Earth to Luke!"

"Huh?" Very articulate. Damn.

"Hello sleepyhead! Sorry to interrupt whatever you were just dreaming about — was it about me by the way? - but we arrived at our destination aka the fabulous Gilmore house."

"Sorry, I was a little distracted." Before I can restrain myself I add. "And yes, it was about you."

I love that little smirk that appears on her face now, it's pretty sexy. "Ha, I knew it! You think I'm gorgeous... You want to kiss me... You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to smooch me... You want to... "

What the hell?! "Lorelai!"

"Yes, Luke?" She answers with the most innocent expression.

"Stop that, it's annoying." I try to make an angry face, but it's not easy when she's smiling at me and flutters her eyelashes.

"Hey, I was only quoting a movie classic. How can _that_ be annoying?" A movie classic? I'm totally lost now, once again she has managed to confuse me like nobody else can with her habit of throwing pop-culture references into conversations all the time. But that trait also keeps things exciting because you never know what to expect next.

"Miss Congeniality? Sandra Bullock playing an FBI agent who goes undercover in the Miss United States beauty pageant after being turned into a babe by Michael Caine to prevent a psychopath from bombing the event?" My confusion grows. Who comes up with such a ridiculous plot?

She is stunned. "How did you miss all the reruns on TV? I see lots of movie nights in our future, my friend. You are lucky to be in a relationship with me, imagine what you would miss!"

Relationship? The word echoes in my head. Lorelai Gilmore just said we are in a relationship. Maybe she didn't mean it that way. But she did say it, didn't she? I contemplate whether or not it is a good idea to be responsive to it now, but before I can make up my mind she gets out of the jeep, exclaiming that she is starving and in desperate need of one of my delicious burgers. I reach for the handle, but she motions to me to wait, walks around the car and opens the door for me.

"Welcome to Gilmore castle, Mr. Danes. We hope you'll have a pleasant stay at our nice establishment."

"Well, thank you, Miss Gilmore. I'm sure I will." I answer, playing along, and take the hand she is offering me. I place a gentle kiss on her lips when I stand in front of her. "Actually, it's already beginning to be very pleasant."


	3. Chapter 3

We hold hands until Lorelai fails to find the key in her purse with just one free hand. Maybe it's better to abstain from public displays of affection anyway, I'm pretty sure that I just saw a movement behind one of Babette's windows. The curiosity in this town is really unbelievable.

We enter the house and go straight into the kitchen, where Lorelai frantically begins to clear away several bowls and other stuff that is spread out on the table and even the floor.

"Sorry, but Rory and I tried to find the perfect popcorn recipe last night. Again. Hard work, let me tell you! I haven't had time to clean up yet. Hey, why don't you reheat our food while I clear some space?"

Soon we are sitting at the table, eating our burgers, talking and joking. God, how much I missed that. I make a mental note that from now on I'll try to see Lorelai every day, it's so much better than only hearing her voice on the phone.

She is not thrilled, when I suggest we do the dishes together, but after pointing out that otherwise she would have to do them alone she is easily persuaded. Just when she is complaining about how Michel treats the guests at the Inn, I decide that now is as good as any other time to bring up the subject of "us".

"We should talk." It comes out a little bit more serious than I had intended and Lorelai pauses, looking down as if the plate she is holding would be the most interesting thing in the world. I guess she knows what I have on my mind.

"I...I wasn't finished with my story yet." She stammers. "Where was I? Oh right, Michel accused her of claiming she's allergic to tomatoes just to annoy him. And then she threw the salad at him. With the plate and everything! Can you imagine? Of course _he_ didn't get hit by the salad — I did. My cute blue shirt with the daisies is totally ruined now. Do you remember that shirt?"

The color matching her eyes, slightly see-through, daisies at the collar. "Why would I remember your damn shirt?" Good, manly answer. Especially after the glasses incident. But I'm starting to get annoyed with how she tries to distract me. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but this is just ridiculous.

"Well, doesn't matter. But is was really cute, believe me. And of course Michel didn't even..."

"Lorelai!" She stops and finally looks at me again. I take the plate out of her hand, lay it at the countertop next us and put my arms around her waist. "You're babbling."

She sighs and leans her forehead against mine, our noses are touching. "I know. It's just... I don't know. The moment you said you wanna talk several warning lights flashed in my mind. I can imagine what you want to talk about and I'm not good in talking about that kind of stuff. I mean, I can talk —as you know- but not talk talk... and I'm babbling again, I'm sorry."

I try to soothe her by slightly stroking her back with my hands and soon she relaxes in my arms and lays her head on my shoulder.

"All I know is that this -us- feels really good and right. And I don't want to risk screwing it up by talking about what all this means or over-analyzing it. Can we just _not_ talk about it, at least for a while? Just enjoy it and see where it leads us?" she pleads.

This is more than I wished for. I definitely don't want to force her to do things she's not ready for. But she did state that there is an "us" and that's all I need to know for now.

"Okay." I murmur against her fragrant, still not completely dry hair.

She gazes up into my eyes and the self-confidence I just felt is blown away. Once again I'm blinded by her and it's my turn once more to look down. I wonder if we'll ever get over this shyness around each other, when I suddenly feel her lips on mine. Lorelai is kissing me and all is right with the world. Her lips are soft, lush, wonderful. I taste her, feel her body curved against mine.

She moves her hands up my chest and around my neck. The passion embodied in our kiss makes my stomach flutter. I'm a strong believer that actions speak louder than words and right now I think nothing she could have said would have convinced me more that she really wants to be with me. My hands travel down her back, pull her as close to me as possible. Slightly embarrassed I can feel my body react to the closeness.

_Should I pull away before she notices it?_ I ask myself while her tongue wetly caresses mine. I want her so much, but I wonder if taking this further could scare her away.

_What does_ she _want?_ She moans against me and her hand clutches my shirt while the fingers of the other one burrow into my hair.

_We probably shouldn't rush things, right?_ We tumble across the room until Lorelai is pressed against the fridge.

_But can this be interpreted as "rushing", over seven weeks after our first kiss?_ My fingertips disappear under her shirt, sliding gently over her smooth skin.

_Maybe we should go on a real date first?_ Lorelai begins to unbutton my shirt and at the same time she tugs lightly on my earlobe with her teeth.

This is the moment when I realize I should stop thinking, should just shut down my mind and enjoy. It's almost impossible to stop now anyway. Her mouth finds mine again and we both smile, laugh in our kiss, take in each other's breaths.

She reaches for her glasses, attempts to take them off. I cover her hand with mine.

"Don't." I'm overwhelmed how sexy her eyes focus their desire through the lenses.

She chuckles and raises her eyebrows. "So that's what turns you on?"

"Only on you." I whisper into her ear and proceed to nibble at her lobe.

My flannel shirt lands on the floor. We change positions, and the magnets on the fridge prick at my back as Lorelai begins to kiss my chest. My nipples harden when her tongue dances teasingly over them. I press her head against my body, groan her name. She breaks away, takes a step back from me.

Shit, I knew we were moving too fast.

But then I watch breathlessly as Lorelai pulls her shirt over her head and reveals her bra. Black, lacy. I notice her erect peaks underneath the fabric, observe the way her breasts move slightly up and down with every heavy breath she takes. Every newly discovered detail about her arouses me.

I let my hands move down her hips seductively, open impatiently the zipper of her skirt. After a while we are both stripped down to our underwear.

"Bed? Couch?" I lost the ability to speak in full sentences the moment Lorelai unbuckled my belt, put her hand into my jeans and let it slide up and down my cock.

Without detaching her lips from my collarbone she shakes her head, "Too far away."

She tiptoes backwards, pulling me with her. Before I have a chance to see what she's planning, Lorelai is already sitting on the edge of the kitchen table and I'm standing between her parted legs. My boxers are stretched by my erection and our bodies connect, only separated by the thin fabric of our underwear. For a second I question if this is the right way to do this, if our first time should really happen this way. But does it matter? Her body is wrapped around me and I feel amazing. _She_ feels amazing.

"The clasp is at the back." I obey the implied command from her hoarse voice and with shaky fingers I undo her bra. Slowly I let the straps slide down her bare shoulders, placing soft kisses all along the way. Her eyes are closed and she is obviously enjoying what I'm doing. Once the bra has joined our other clothes on the floor she lies down on the table.

This is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. I'm more the darkness & bed kind of lover, all my previous sexual encounters happened more or less like that. And now Lorelai is lying almost completely naked in broad daylight on her kitchen table. I take in the beautiful, intimidating view in front of me. My eyes appreciate every curve, the full swell of her breasts, her round rosy areolas, the black lace of her thong contrasting with her pale skin.

I am so aroused that I almost can't stand up anymore, but I'm gripped by the fear that I will mess this up and Lorelai will never speak to me again. Showing weakness at this point is hardly the way to go, but I can't help it. What if this isn't like she imagined it? Or not like _I_ envisioned it so often? My more primal instincts are switched off because of my fears and I touch her hand hoping she will save me.

Lorelai sits up again and supports herself with her right arm on the table. For a brief moment the same insecurities I feel twinkle behind her glasses, but then she smiles encouragingly and puts my hand, which holds her own, on her breast.

All my dark thoughts are forgotten when I feel her warm skin and her hard nipple under my palm. I bend forward to be closer to her, place one elbow next to her on the table while my hand continues to caress her breast. She clings to me, wraps her arms tightly around my body. I draw slow, lazy circles around her areola with my middle finger, twirl the precious, stiff peak cautiously between my thumb and my index finger until Lorelai moans ecstatically. Time to give her other breast the same treatment.

After a while only touching her is not enough. I lower my mouth to her chest, licking over the tanned skin of her collarbone, moving downwards until my tongue rests between her breasts. I look up to her face when I slowly suck the hard nipple of her right breast into my mouth. Her eyelids flutter and my efforts are rewarded with a loud gasp. The skin of her areola feels smooth and soft under my tongue, with occasional sections of roughness. My hand is massaging Lorelai's other breast and I roll the nipple between two fingers, gently teasing it into full erection.

Slowly my hand travels down her body, paying close attention to every inch of her soft skin. The first thing my fingertips discover after slipping down below the waistband of her underwear is that Lorelai is shaven, the second that she is already wet. I stop to look at her face, to watch her reaction. I'm prepared to discontinue anytime if she wants me to. But she seems to be enjoying what my mouth and my hand are doing to her.

Her eyes are closed, one hand is buried in my hair while the other one clings to the table top. And so I let my hand run free between her legs, fondle the smooth hairless skin, trace the perfect meaty shape of her inner and outer folds, apply gentle pressure to her clit with constant, circular movements until Lorelai wriggles under my touch and groans rapturously.

I bring my lips up to meet hers while my hand still remains in her lap.

"You're pretty loud, you know." I tease her.

She frowns, laughs against my lips as I hurry to kiss her.

Her wetness surrounds my finger when I move it affectionately up and down between her labia, her clit feels more swollen, throbbing more every time I touch it. Finally I dip in, wanting to explore her inner walls. Lorelai flinches, shies away from my hand a little. I pause, study her expression. I didn't hurt her, did I?

"Do you want me to stop?" I ask her, concerned.

She opens her eyes, bites her bottom lip and cups my face in her hands. "Don't you dare."

With caution I slide my finger deeper into her, then a second one. Her ribbed walls relax to accept my fingers. I push in. Pull out. Caress her sensitive clit now and then. Enter again. I'm still amazed that we are really doing this and I feel indescribably happy that it is me who provides her so much pleasure. My tongue in her mouth matches the movements of my hand and stifles the moans that escape her throat.

Suddenly I have the urgent desire to taste her. Lorelai whimpers in frustration when I remove my fingers from her completely, but calms down when I place one of my forearms at each side of her body and begin to kiss her breasts, suck at her nipples, moving my head downwards to get closer to my desired destination.

The moment I let my tongue spin around in her belly button Lorelai realizes what I intend as I can tell by the way she grabs my hair with both hands and presses my mouth even closer against her stomach. I free myself from her firm grip and straighten up a little. Purposely slowly I put one finger of each hand under the elastic of Lorelai's lacy thong. I grin up at her, enjoy her obvious impatience. Finally I slip the bothersome garment off of her and take in the ravishing sight in front of me.

Avowedly and overwhelmed with emotions I stare at her, completely exposed in front of me.

_Stunningly beautiful._

My heart pounds in my ears, I zone out.

_Her outer lips in a deep shade of pink._

A tingling feeling in my groin.

_The rich crimson of her femininity._

I'm tongue-tied.

_She's divine._

"Hey, you still awake down there?" She asks shyly, closes her legs slightly and nudges me with one toe.

I gaze at her, over her flat stomach, the underside of her full breasts, her erect nipples up to her face. She sits up and supports herself with her arms behind her at the table. Our eyes connect and although this moment is very intimate and we are both absolutely embarrassed, neither of us looks away this time. Maybe I just had to get this close to Lorelai to understand that looking at her is not dangerous, that even though she is the sun around which my world revolves I won't get burned by her.

I kneel down, catch her venturous toe that tickles my chest and place a kiss on top of it. Gently I part her legs again and put her left foot over my right shoulder. My hand glides tenderly from her ankle over her knee to her thigh, my mouth follows and blazes the trail with feathery kisses. I am delighted to discover that Lorelai is ticklish at the hollow of her knee. Her laughter is infectious and I join in as I caress the creamy skin of her inner thigh.

Lorelai gets serious when I reach the little birthmark right next to her labia, her hand digs into my hair again. The subtle, tempting scent of her arousal encircles me when I begin to touch her creases fondly with my lips, blow some air on them. I run the tip of my tongue over her swollen folds, then lightly push it inside between them.

She grinds against me, jerking her hips, as I shove my tongue deeper into her wetness. Her luscious taste is dancing in my throat as I suck at her labia, licking, tenderly biting. I feel a little bit pain as her hand in my hair tightens it's grip when I finally pay attention to her clit, but I keep up stimulating her feverishly until her breathing deepens to short pants and occasional gasps.


	4. Chapter 4

Suddenly she lets go of my hair and pulls me up to her by my shoulders. The fingers of her left hand slide down my back to my butt, her right hand disappear between us. Soon I feel her touching me, massaging my erection. She tries to push down my shorts, but the way I am lying over her makes this difficult. I get up, quickly stepping out of my boxers and climbing between her inviting legs again.

Lorelai wraps one arm around my neck now, cupping my face with her free hand. I look deeply into her eyes and this time I am bothered by her glasses, as they seem to create an artificial barrier between us. Carefully I lift up one arm and take them off. She lets it happen and I put them down on the table, as far away from us as possible. Somehow, I can't even explain why, this simple act is a signal of trust for me. I softly kiss her eyelids, the tip of her nose and then her mouth.

My erection pulsates longingly against Lorelai's pubic bone, nevertheless I hesitate to enter her. It might sound stupid, especially because she is obviously as aroused as I am and probably expects me to make the next move, but I'm waiting for some kind of admission. Not that I want her to beg me to make love to her, I only hope for a tiny sign that it is really okay — that she trusts me and wants me.

"I'm on the pill." She smiles encouragingly, resolving all my doubts.

I cover her lips with mine once more, then I stand up and take my hardness into my right hand to guide it to her entrance. She shudders when I hit her clit while I slide the tip up and down between her folds. Feeling her wetness turns me even more on than I already was. Lorelai rears up and accommodates the head of my cock with this ecstatic action.

There is no holding off for me now. Firmly I grab her hips with both hands and plunge into her as far as possible. Lorelai gasps for breath and hugs my waist with her legs when I am finally inside of her. I bend down to her again. My forearms on the table next to her, our eyes locked, I give us time to adjust. Quietly we enjoy the sensation of our first, eagerly awaited connection. Her heat surrounds me and I feel like this is exactly were I belong, our bodies joined tightly, our minds lost in each other.

"Okay?"

Lorelai nods, writhing impatiently underneath me. "Okay."

As I begin to thrust, her hips rock gently up to meet me. Soon we establish a common rhythm. Her nails dig into my back, sending shivers throughout my whole body. Alternating between long, slow strokes and hard, fast thrusts I proceed to push into her. Driven by Lorelai's moans of pleasure I move frantically, pulling almost completely out before diving in again. I look down between our bodies, observe how her engorged labia are pushed in and drawn out with each stroke.

I study every of her reactions, every flutter of her eyelids, memorizing them for future reference. I want to achieve perfection the next times we are sleeping together. Although, this already feels pretty perfect to me.

I always thought Lorelai would be her usual chatty and chipper self while making love, but she surprises me. Moans and sighs are the only sounds that escape her throat while I thrust into her. Her eyes are half closed, her expression serious, almost solemn. Every time I touch a secret pleasure point deep inside of her a contented smile illuminates her face.

Lorelai tucks up one leg, allows me to push in even deeper. But I still want more. I lift my right arm and quickly slide it under her thigh. Lorelai understands, places her leg over my shoulder. The toes of the other one cling to me right underneath my butt.

I feel my erection hit her cervix as I push fully into her. I pause, not sure if it causes her pain. But Lorelai only grinds closer against me, showing me that she enjoys the stimulation. I thrust into her harder. Deeper. My fingers dig into her thigh, draw her hips nearer. I bend down to kiss her, hungry for closeness to her. My tongue enters her mouth as forcefully as I thrust into her.

Our looks meet again, we are both breathing hard through our open mouths. I can feel that familiar tingle in my groin, and I know that I can't postpone the inevitable much longer. Feeling her tighten around me, I sense that Lorelai is close too.

Cautiously I put my arms under the upper part of her body to prop her up. She snuggles against me and wraps her arms around my neck. One of my hands rests on her back while the other one pushes her pelvis closer to mine. It is more difficult to plunge into her in this standing position, but I have the desire to hold her as tightly as possible when we climax.

Lorelai rubs her clit against my pubic bone, then reaches down between our intertwined bodies to caress it. Watching her touch herself and hearing her groan directly into my ear is enough to push me over the edge. My orgasm begins, spreads out from my testicles and crawls up my spine until it finally reaches the end of my cock and I explode inside her with a loud moan. I continue thrusting to guarantee Lorelai's satisfaction too while my body twitches and jerks for what seems like minutes.

I feel her nails scraping over my skin, her teeth biting into my shoulder, but I want to see Lorelai's face when she hits her peak. In a husky voice I say her name and she looks at me. She withdraws her hand from her crotch and clings to me when the first ripples of pleasure wash over her. She gasps, moans, quivers in my arms. I can feel her muscles contract around me, squeeze me, until a sudden flow of wetness trickles down my leg.

I am weakened by the power of my release and the marvelous experience Lorelai and I just shared. I tumble backwards to sit us down on a nearby chair. The moment I made my final thrust Lorelai wrapped her legs tightly around me, making sure that I don't slip out of her yet. Now she embraces me and the backrest, still not ready to let go.

She nestles to my shoulder and we just hold each other till our breathing calms down. Lorelai is, not surprisingly, the first to speak again.

"That was..." Amazing. Incredible. Life-altering. Overwhelming. Stunning. I could go on forever.

Apparently Lorelai has the same trouble to find the right word, her voice trails off and she settles for a smile and a kiss on my lips instead.

"Yeah, it was." I guess my face displays the same graveled grin I see on hers. "Those eight weeks of pent-up lust really paid off." Make that eight years. But she doesn't need to know that. Not yet.

She kisses the corner of my mouth, then my jaw. Her breath sensually tickles my ear when she whispers in it. "Eight weeks, huh? Understatement of the millennium." My happiness even grows when I realize what this means. She also wanted this to happen for some time, not just since that night at the Dragonfly Inn.

I kiss her hair, breathe her in. My fingertips pet the silky, heated skin of her back, feel their way down to her buttocks. Her inner walls tense when I slightly touch her anus. I trace her folds, saturated by her overflowing wetness, feel how tensely they clasp around me.

That is the last thing I need to believe that all this is not a dream. I close my eyes, shut the world out for a while and let the reality of "us" in. I can feel her heartbeat. Or is it my own? We are too close, I am not able to tell. I don't think I ever before felt emotionally and physically so connected to another person.

The sound of heavy raindrops against the kitchen window ends our peaceful moment of togetherness. I suddenly notice that the position we're in is not very comfortable and also that I feel a little chilly.

"So... you're determined to keep me inside of you until Rory comes home and finds us that way?"

Her laughter is noticeable in every fiber of my body. "Yes, that was my evil plan. That was also the reason why I took you home in the first place. I figured Rory doesn't have enough juicy material for her autobiography."

"It's just..." Lorelai gets serious, looks down shyly then gazes at me insistently. "It feels so great."

Gently I brush a strand of hair off her cheek, lean my forehead against hers. "It does. But you know, you can have that again. Whenever you want."

"Just checking."

She looks happy, relieved. Slowly she raises her hips and I slip out of her without difficulty. I want to get up, but she sits down in my lap again. Her folds huddle against my now limp cock, only a mix of our juices in between.

"Hey, have you ever imagined that our first time would involve a table?"

"That would mean I would have thought about sleeping with you _before_ today." Her hand slaps my shoulder, exactly the reaction I expected after my teasing comment.

"Okay, okay." I give in. "I pictured us more in a bed."

"Sookie knew it." What?!

"Sookie?"

"Mm-hmm. After she found out about our first kiss, she thought we had reenacted Bull Durham right then and there. Apparently we are sending out a sex-on- the-table vibe."

"Oh man,"I roll my eyes. What an embarrassing idea that Sookie thinks about us that way and that she was even right. If I had known this earlier I would have ensured we made it to the bed or at least the couch. Even the floor would have been a good alternative. Suddenly an even scarier thought crosses my mind.

"You won't tell her about _this_, right?"

"No. Don't worry," Just as the relief sets in she adds, "at least not in detail." and silences my protest with a kiss.

The rain is still pouring down when we finally let go and begin to clean each other and to remove the traces of our love-making on the table, the chair and even the floor. I bet Rory would never eat anything in here again if she knew about that.

While I wait for Lorelai to come back from the bathroom I sit down for a while, running my hand over the smooth table top. Not even two hours ago I was wondering how I could finally get closer to Lorelai and now everything is turned upside down within such a short amount of time. Life is funny sometimes.

When Lorelai joins me in the kitchen she is like always, talking a mile a minute and joking around. I'm glad that I now also know this new, intimate side of her. Strange to say, but somehow it seems that putting on our clothes has brought back a little bit of our shyness around each other.

She plays with my fingers, looks down at our hands, when she tells me that she would like nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with me. But she promised to be back at the Inn a couple of hours ago and I should return to the diner too. She asks me if I need a ride, but I tell her I don't mind the rain and want to walk instead.

Lorelai walks me to the door and we kiss goodbye a million times, neither of us willing to really break away.

"Thanks for lunch. And for everything else too." She mumbles against my lips.

"You're lucky, usually I'm not so easy that I put out for a glass of tap water before even going on a date."

"Speaking of which. Not that I mind our very wild, innovative start into this relationship, but do you think we will have one of those normal, boring dates eventually too?"

I promise her to think of something. Soon. She is impressed when I remember that she probably won't have time tonight and on Sunday since that are Rory's last nights at home. But she promises to call me tonight.

"When I'm all alone lying in my big, cold bed. Naked. Or does sitting naked at the kitchen table work better for you?"

I catch her off guard when I push her against the wall, kiss her hard on the lips, tell her that I'll most likely be naked on the other end of the line too and walk out of the door before she has a chance to reply.

I am not even at the first step when I hear the door open behind me, and I've just made it to the bottom of the stairs when she calls my name. Of course I turn around, how could I resist. Leaning in the door frame she looks like a beautiful painting. She is barefoot which gives her an innocent and sexy look at the same time. She wouldn't be Lorelai if she didn't want to have the final say.

"After eating so many years at your diner I knew that you were good in the kitchen, but I had no idea you're _that_ good." She offers a cheeky grin, raises her eyebrows and suddenly I'm staring dumbfounded at the closed door.

Although we just had the most amazing and in many ways most intimate sex I ever experienced she still manages to make me blush with one little suggestive comment. Walking through the heavy rain I think about possibilities for our first date that I intend to have very soon, about making love to Lorelai again. I guess I should buy a bigger bed for us.

I feel free and happy and excited like I haven't for years, maybe not since my childhood. I love that Lorelai has the power to reawaken those emotions inside of me.

Scratch that — I love everything about her.

_What a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall, I don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
And it's brighter than sunshine_

_**~The End~**_


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